Sounds Very Vermonty

Jason (Donna's brother) just bought a new car. The problem was that the car was purchased in St. Alban, Vermont, which is not really that close to Kingston, Ontario. However, with the incentive of having our gas paid for, Donna and I agreed to drive them down. Jason picked a very obtuse route to St. Alban, which allowed us to see much of Upper State New York, as well as a very scenic and picturesque Vermont. I did think we might be lost at one point as we were cruising along Jefferson County Highway # 197... which is to say that we were in the middle of farm country on a road labeled danger: uneven paved surface (which is kinda an oxymoron if you ask me). The roads were labeled funny, as streets often started in only one direction, or were different highways depending on whether you turned right or left.

The scenic route did allow us to see much of small town America, along with all the strange, in-bred like things that occur in small town America. Here are a few high-lights of things we found interesting:

#1) Street signs that said: Warning Deaf Children. I had no idea I had to be so afraid of deaf children, but maybe they get especially cranky in the US.

#2) A hiring fair at a McDonald's. Wow. You need an entire fair to attract people to work at McDonald's? I wonder if they include free food.

#3) Friday garage sales. Not just like one or two, but many. It was almost like everybody down there doesn't bother to work, they just run private flea markets all the time.

#4) A giant school that had been turned into a shopping centre. We could find no other school in the city... which leads me to the only conclusion possible: They think merchandising and not education is the way to success.

#5) Everyone seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" Well, we saw the house it was modeled after and then some. Giant white and blue house, statues everywhere. People with many o's and u's in their names would be proud.

#6) Even in small town America, they love their WalMarts. The town had nothing in it, except the biggest WalMart I have ever seen.

#7) Lightning storms can be very neato. But only when the lightning is falling far enough away so that its not dangerous. And when there is a warning on the radio telling people to stay inside because of the lightning and rain and you can't because you are driving on the freeway, and you think it might be a good idea to at least stop because you can't see more than 40 ft. in front of you but you don't because you want to get home, it can make for an interesting trip. Did you know that when lightning falls a few hundred meters from you its really noisy?

#8) Apparently, when you go through the border crossing you need to have a good story. The truth sometimes sounds a little fishy. Like why 4 people went down and 2 people came back. And the other two people have a "new" car and you don't know where exactly they are. And you only bought $7.00 worth of goods, and you only stayed for the day, and you used totally different border crossings that are hundreds of miles apart. Needless to say I had my car searched.

#9) I am sure that Montreal is a very nice place to be. On an extremely muggy, Friday afternoon in the summer I am not so sure. It was crowded, and stinky, and gross. Maybe winter will be nicer.

Montreal smog.

Downtown Montreal.

Me trying not to sweat too much in Downtown Montreal.

#10) Coffee is still bad. I had to have my first full cup of coffee on the way home. After driving for 15 hours, I was a little tired, and started to lose it when Donna fell asleep. Some navigator eh?

All-in-all, not a bad trip. Long and tiring to be sure, and I consumed enough junk food driving for the next month, but it was still a good trip. Here are some other funny pictures:

Who doesn't like the Amish?

Apparently some people, that's why you need warning signs.

Not Belgium, the other Antwerp.

What do fat Americans need? Really fat Life Savers.

Pictures from the bustling metropolis of Malone.

This one is for my buddy Joe, who always liked how the Irish got whupped up on when they got to North America. It talks about how the fair grounds were established to commemorate the beating of a Fenian uprising.

Pictures from the really big bridge going from New York to Vermont.

Flora and Jason.