1 Nostril Too Few

"Never put things up your nose." I am sure that your parents probably told you this as a kid. This included fingers, pencils, q-tips and whatever else you might have gotten caught shoving up your nose as a 5-year old. I remember a kid in my class in elementry school who got a pencil eraser stuck up his nose and absolutely lost his mind, running around and screaming in fear. Good times those. Where am I going with this you ask?
Appearently I snore. Everyone says so. Donna (who is the best and most tolerent girlfriend ever) says its really bad. Ok, fine, I admit I snore. Donna also happens to be a doctor and in her expert medical opinion, she thinks I have sleep apnea. This is where you stop breathing at night and then all of a sudden you spasm as your body wakes you up becuase you are not breathing. This causes irregular sleep patterns and puts added stress on your body. It makes you tired and can be related to other health problems.
I get an appointment and go to the sleep and breathing clinic. It was a different experience. I do a written test that tells the doctor I am sleepier than I should be. I told him the same thing, no test required. He then does some tests. Funny that after your Mom tells you not to shove things up your nose, he does the exact opposit. He freezes my nose and my throat. He said it would sting a little. My nose stung like hot coffee had been poured up my nostrils. My eyes watered up and it was seriously uncomfortable. My throat felt like there was a giant hunk of phlegm in the back of my throat, except there wasn't and I couldn't get rid of the feeling by swallowing, or doing anything else. Then he shoves the giant scope up my nose and into my throat. Except it doesn't go down the right nostril becuase my septum is pushed way over and it's pretty much closed off. So it goes down the other nostril without too many problems.
The doctor says breath easy through my nose. RIGHT. I only have one good nostil and its full of fiber optic tubing.
Anyway, long story short (well kinda short) I may have sleep apnea. Couple more tests to go. Just remeber to listen to your parents. Everyone needs both nostrils for a reason.